Today was my spa day. I had mixed feelings about going solo but was happy to give Winston and Emmy some daddy-daughter time. Even though I’ve been better at leaving room for him to be a wonderful dad, I’m still the primary parent. They don’t get much alone time.
Before I headed out, I thought I’d do something in which we all could take part, but I guess video games aren’t their thing. It’s not mine either, but I’m trying to be inclusive.
As I walked to the facility, pity tempted me. My brain automatically went to “woe is me, my boo won’t spend time with me” as if getting a massage together was the ultimate method for quality time. I shook off that feeling and shifted my thoughts back to the discoveries I made about myself the other night. I blame Winston for everything wrong in our relationship, but I am just as guilty. I see that now. My modus operandi has been he should want what I want because he loves me. How foolish is that? Winston is an individual with his own values and ways of thinking. I should have learned how he operated long before Emerald. Maybe we’re not as compatible as I thought. But that’s no reason to throw in the towel. I have to take responsibility for my choices and learn to live with them. Izzy thinks I should run, but I know I need to stand and fight. Hopefully Winston is willing to fight too.
When I reached the spa, I had to laugh at how ridiculous it was to want him to accompany me. While we got pampered together, who would watch my child?? I always said he was smarter than me.
