I could not contain my excitement and had to share my success with someone who would appreciate it and understand the importance—someone who would genuinely be happy for me. Besides, I hadn’t seen my babies in a few days. Around 3:00, I dashed to Ali’s house to share the big news. As I approached, my rambunctious one made a beeline for the monkey bars while Luca got a warm hug from Ali. He is a pretty good hugger. Mommy will forever be the GOAT in that regard, but Ali is a close second. I miss him.
“MAMA,” Luca shouted excitedly.
Ali’s head whipped around so fast, I thought he’d break his neck. “Em? What are you doing here?” He sounded more than surprised. Honestly, he sounded a little ticked off.
“I needed to talk to you, and I hadn’t seen the kids in a while, so I thought I’d pop over,” I said more sheepishly than I liked. Did I miss something?
“Ok,” he said, looking around to see if Luca was listening. He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Look, Em, you know I don’t mind you hanging with the kids, but…”
He paused for a deep breath and I stopped breathing. What changed?? What have I done that is so offensive he would treat me this way? Especially after what I came to tell him. Things are finally looking up for me! I’m getting myself together. He can’t stop me from seeing my kids now. They are my only reason I haven’t lost it yet. My life is in shambles, and I have every reason to crumble at the impact and let depression take over. But I press through. For them! This is cruel and unusual pu-
“I’d appreciate it if you would call first,” he said, finally.
I let go of the breath I held and almost burst into tears. Why do I always go to the worst places? Ali is not my enemy! I have to keep reminding myself of that still. I have so much work to do.
“Oh,” I said. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. I can do that. But…can I know why?”
I could have sworn I saw his eyes roll.
“I just…I need to get my head straight before I see you.”
I spent massive amounts of energy trying to keep my brain from running away with his words. It could have gone in so many directions. But I put Ali through a lot. It’s understandable he’s still wrestling with some demons. I don’t need to know what they are to respect his wishes.
