After our chat about balance, we discussed responsibility. Everyone has a job, big or small. As kids, they are responsible for keeping their rooms tidy, cleaning up after themselves, and maintaining good grades. But that is the bare minimum. Wherever they see an opportunity to help us parents, they should jump on it not to be recognized and receive a pat on the back, but because it’s the kind thing to do, and kindness goes a long way. I also threw in a note about using our inside voices.
I hope our long chat is helpful to Ali in the long run. Young kids’ memories can be the size of ants. Case in point. After our chat, we did homework. Despite agreeing to be responsible just a minute ago, they whined and bargained. But part of it was probably just from missing me and wanting to have more time before bed. Speaking of… Bath and bedtime went about the same, but I got them down. They can’t know I wanted to have fun with them as bad as they did, but we all have to be responsible. Especially me.
Ali was still holed up in his room when I went downstairs, so I busied myself while waiting for him to resurface. I thought to knock on the door and let him know I was free, but I didn’t want to disturb him. He needs all the personal time he can get. I already washed the dishes, so I wiped the stove and countertops. Ali came down and caught me sweeping the floors.
He looked surprised, yet had an appreciative glimmer in his eye. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I smiled brightly. “I know.”
He followed me into the living room. “You really didn’t need to trouble yourself. But I appreciate it.”
I was happy to see him smile again, even if it was just a half smile through tired eyes. “You say that, but I did need to…for you.”
He misinterpreted what I said and turned away.
“Our children are a handful, and I know that’s something both of us will need to learn how to handle. But for now, you have them all the time. There’s no shame in admitting you need a break. And I’m not some babysitter doing extra chores, hoping for a tip. They’re my children! I’ll always do whatever I can for them. That includes you too. We might not be together anymore, but we’re still family.” And I still love him and would do anything for him.
He nodded. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“Oh. It’s more news than conversation.”
“Ok. Let’s hear it.”
“Well, first, I started counseling today. Billie gave me some good advice about where to begin, so…yeah.”
“That’s great, Em. I really hope that helps.”
“My big news is…I got a job!”
“What?? That’s wonderful! I’m glad for you, Em.”
“Thank you!”
“So, how did you feel about the whole thing? I know how frustrating it can be.”
“Yeah…it didn’t start off well. There are so many jobs out there, and half of them I had no interest whatsoever. And honestly, none of them really jumped out at me. Either I was unskilled or I had the skills, but the schedule wouldn’t work. Ultimately, I just chose a job with a good schedule that would come with training. But then they sent me this assessment thing. It really stressed me out because I’ve never done this type of work before. I just knew they wouldn’t be interested, but they hired me!”
“They basically hired you on the spot! I guess they saw something they liked. I’m really proud of you, Em. I mean that.”
I knew he would be, but I felt special anyway and grinned like an idiot. But then I thought about something and got serious. “Ali… I know we haven’t discussed this yet, and I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, but I could start taking the kids sometimes. I know things just started looking up for me, and I might need a little more time, but I miss them so much. And after seeing how you were tonight…well, I think it’ll be good for you, too.”
The way he glared at me, I just knew he’d shoot me down. Maybe no matter what happens in my life, he’ll always see me as that frantic woman who left her kids home alone. Will that hang over my head for all eternity??
But then his face softened. “You’re right. They need us both. And they miss you too. A lot.”
I smiled in delight, and tears threatened to force their way out, but I held them off. “Really?? That’s great! I mean…I’m glad you think I’m ready.”
“What about this weekend? Or, is that too soon?”
Ahhh!!! That is so perfect since Saturday is Family Day. I’ll have to plan something nice for them! “No! Of course not. I start my job tomorrow, but I can get them after work. Ooh! We’ll go out to eat, and you can drop them off at the restaurant.”
“And I’ll pick them up Sunday night.”
“Perfect.”
