Nothing in my life changed between last night and now. Ali and I didn’t have a big fight or decide we hate each other. Still, I woke up troubled. Kind of like I was in mourning but also mad the person died. I suppose, in a way, I am in mourning. I lost one of my best friends. True, I lost him a while ago, but I’m painfully aware of it now.
I grabbed leftover pancakes for breakfast and tried to channel Alessia’s excitement so I could feel better going into work, but it was no use. There is no quick fix for this situation. Eventually, I will be ok—I hope. Despite its melancholy beginning, my day brightened quite nicely and ended on a spectacular note. I don’t feel like I’ve been working particularly hard; I just prefer to keep my brain occupied. Idleness leads to messy thoughts, and I don’t want to be a mess at work. So I fill my time with as much as I can cram into it. But my boss noticed how I worked through breaks and stuff and promoted me to Assistant Manager! Not only that, but if I keep this up, I’d be looking at Regional Manager much sooner than later! ME! The new girl!
I couldn’t believe it! I got a promotion!! When I got home, my first thought was to call Ali and tell him. But I quickly recoiled before I pressed send on his shortcut. Instead of feeling down about our relationship, I ran inside to change clothes. I don’t need him to celebrate me. Before we met, I used to celebrate myself, and that’s exactly what I plan to do tonight.
I bought this outfit ages ago and never wore it. Now that I’m getting back to being myself, I’m gonna wear all those outfits I’d been saving for special occasions that never came. I made reservations at a rooftop restaurant in San Myshuno called Holy Smoke. Oh yeah. I’m going big because I don’t plan to go home until the wee hours of the morning. It’s not every day a girl who’s never worked a day in her life gets promoted in the first week of her first job.
While I waited for the server to take my order, Lucy sent me a text to say she missed me. She is so sweet! I keep saying I need to do better with my friendships but change nothing about them. In this new season of my life, I think it’s time I follow through. I replied saying if she wanted to hang out in an hour, I’d be at Llama Inferno. Naturally, she said she’d see me there. I don’t deserve her. Or maybe I do. My life bar is not as small as it used to be, but it’s nowhere near the other side. I can’t stay in this sunken place forever, constantly beating myself up and saying how horrible I am. Everyone deserves redemption, right? I may not be able to right my wrongs, but I can make sure my future goes in the right direction. Maybe my friends have hung around just for this time. I’m going to need them so much more.
