My selection for the victory dinner was a lot less exciting than one would expect. Most people go for the big-ticket items like steak or lobster when they celebrate. But I chose roasted chicken. After trying to be a vegetarian for so long, chicken made my mouth water like nothing else ever had. I was more adventurous with my drink though and tried a ridgeport. I approve!
I found Lucy at the bar, waiting for me. Her face lit up brightly when I called her name. We embraced and found the quietest corner to sit and catch up. I began with the recent, exciting news. She was super excited about the promotion and even the pending one, but surprised to hear I even had a job. That led us to the other depressing updates. She didn’t know about my affair and the divorce, so I suppose she doesn’t talk to Diamond much. Or at all. She wasn’t as nosy as everyone else and didn’t ask who my “lover” was, but she was every bit as disappointed as the rest.
“You’ve had a lot going on, recently,” she said, finally, after a long pause.
Was she more upset about what I’d done or because she didn’t know about it? I wouldn’t be surprised if she decided our friendship wasn’t worth the trouble. She’s always had to reach out to me. It has to suck when the other party doesn’t reciprocate.
“I’m sorry about the kids,” she continued. “I know that was hard for you.”
“Yeah, it was at first. But I talked to Ali about it, and he said he was giving me space to figure myself out and grieve my losses.” I sat there, shaking my head at my stupidity. “That man… Even after I did him wrong, he’s still good to me.”
I didn’t mean to make the conversation awkward. Lucy and I sat in silence, avoiding eye contact for a while.
“I didn’t know about your mom,” she said in a sympathetic yet accusatory tone. “I’m so sorry. This is all…so much.”
“Yeah…it is. And, thanks. Listen, I know I’m not a good friend. And I know I promised I’d do better, and I didn’t. But I really appreciate you, Lucy. I will do better this time. I want to.”
She smiled painfully. “I want that too.”
I asked what went on in her life to get us out of that awkward moment. Not much has changed. She still wants a child, but Duane says they’re too old and likes things how they are. Poor thing. I can’t imagine being denied the one thing I’ve wanted. I definitely would have demanded it. Or, if worst came to worst, I’d make it happen whether he wanted it or not. But she’s far too sweet for that.
The air in our corner of the club got way too thick with all the heavy news shared, and we needed a change. I suggested we forget our troubles and go dance.
“That’s right,” she said. “We’re celebrating you!”
I got out there and did my thang. Eventually, I forgot about Lucy, but she probably remembers how I am when I dance. I let the music take me wherever it wants to go, and I flow with it, Spin, Snap, Swayin’, One, Two Steppin’. Whatever my body wants to do. Just like at the beach, I felt so much more like the me I remember. Celebrating myself was an excellent move because, frankly, no one can celebrate me like I celebrate me.
