In the spirit of getting reacquainted with myself and finding my happiness, I resumed my morning jogs. I thought recreating those peaceful moments with Shiloh would make me happy, but I was miserable. There’s so much more of me now. I thought my thighs would spark a flame the way they rubbed together. And let’s not discuss how I huffed and puffed the whole time. As embarrassing and difficult as that experience was, I won’t stop jogging. I feel like I need to adopt more healthy habits because I can’t cut and color my hair every time I need to cope with something. Besides, I want to be a better example for my children. Ali and I have mostly been doing whatever we can to get along, and that’s ok. A lot of life has happened to us in a short time, and no one is expecting us to be back in full swing right now—especially Ali. But I don’t want Luca and Alessia thinking life is dull and depressing. Honestly, it feels kind of hypocritical for me to have all these little talks about their behavior when I’m not doing anything about mine. I know it’s not the same, and as their mother, I should correct bad behavior so it doesn’t escalate. But still. I recognize I have much room for improvement, so…we jog now.
