I woke up sad on our last morning in Mt. Komorebi. Not boo hoo sad, but just feeling a bit blah. As much as I have enjoyed making memories with my children, and even reconnecting with Ali, I missed sleeping in my own bed, my dog, my work, and my man. He missed me too and sent me a text saying he can’t wait to see me. I never have to doubt his feelings for me because he showers me constantly with them. It’s weird. I’ve been married before, but this is the first time I’ve ever really dated someone. Even though I have many regrets, I’m glad I get to have this experience now. I’ve always been the one to chase the guy and steer the relationship. It’s kinda nice to not have to do that.
I went downstairs immediately and prepared breakfast so everyone could fuel up for the big slopes. Luca joined me in the kitchen, already dressed and ready for the day. I guess my mood was showing because he asked if I was okay. I said I was just ready to go home.
Nosy Emmy reared her messy head and asked about his friend at the lounge, but Cool Hand Luca remained vague. I asked if he saw her again. He said no. I asked if they were going to keep in touch. He said maybe. I asked if he liked her. He said, “she’s cool.” I took the hint and stopped asking questions. Whenever there’s something to tell, he’ll tell me, I hope.
Alessia wanted to have her birthday before we headed out, so once everyone was dressed and ready to go, I brought out the cake and we made a great ruckus for her.
And just like that, all my babies are grown. What fine young adults they are! I hope the world is ready for them because I know they will leave their mark in their own ways, and I am already proud! I can’t wait to see what my baby girl gets into.
It was a very cloudy day, so it got dark much sooner than we expected and I wasn’t sure how I felt about barreling down the mountain in the dark. But this was our agenda, and I didn’t want to be a flake, so I got out there and did my best. Snowboarding was more my speed. Or, at least, I could concentrate better on keeping one stick balanced versus two. I wouldn’t say it’s my thing now, but it was a nice experience. And I will not return home with a broken hip.
At some point, I had my fill of adrenaline. But Luca and Alessia kept going, round after round, trying to perfect their technique. I felt like such a mom, standing at the bottom of the mountain, waving at them and cheering as they returned. I may or may not have also taken a few pics and snuck in some video, tee hee. They’re totally coming back here soon. Alessia already put the bug in my ear, and I can see Luca getting into extreme sports. Whether or not they invite me is the big questions, heh.
Ali decided not to join us on the slopes. I hope it’s just because he’s not interested and not because he’s still tripping about his weight. Maybe he just needed some alone time to relax and get himself together before getting back to work. But I fear he’s having a moment like I had yesterday, though. I know this is totally selfish, but I hope he’s healed enough to not let his thoughts drive a wedge between us again. I feel like we made big progress this weekend. Things don’t have to be tense or awkward. We can have love for each other from a respectful distance and still be a family. Just not in the traditional sense. But it’s different for him, I know. As we enter this new season of not having the kids to keep us in each other’s lives, I hope he doesn’t cut me completely out.
