I avoided the dog park so I wouldn’t run into Laurant when I was mad at him. Shiloh couldn’t care less about it, but I missed running around and trying to teach her tricks. Seeing Ms. Trash Talk die the other day made me kind of nostalgic, so I went. We weren’t friends or anything, but the dog park is very predictable. She was always there, and now she’s not. It was kinda sad to see her chair empty.
Diamond called while we were there. It had been a while since we last spoke. She probably had something to say about me ignoring everyone the other night. We’ve always been very different, but I feel like it’s even more apparent now. When we do talk, there’s barely much to say. We’re in different phases of life now. She works and has a family. I have neither. I think about getting a job a lot. Even though I’ve been living on my own for a while now, part of me still doesn’t feel very grown up. I have minimal responsibilities. But at the same time, I love that I have the option to work. I feel like I should enjoy this free time before I have my own family because I intend to be very involved in my kids’ lives. Conversely, I feel like I should have something going on. A hobby, profession, volunteer work…something. Like, what will I do when my children are older and out of the house? I don’t have specific interests I could turn into a business like Mommy. I like doggies and dancing. That’s pretty much my life.
I almost forgot Diamond and Jaron were together. Part of me wants to know how that happened. But at the same time, I didn’t want to know how he could go from being obsessed with me to being in a serious relationship with her. Especially when she was very adamant about not wanting to be in one. The baby must have changed things a lot. I wonder how Laurant is with all this. Not that he ever wanted to be with her. Just thinking about all this mess made my head hurt. I’m so glad I got out.
Diamond was pretty upset with me. I didn’t think she cared that much, honestly. She was glad I wasn’t obsessed with her twin anymore and assumed he was the reason she and I didn’t talk anymore. How bad would things be if I confessed the truth? Could she handle it if I told her I was in love with her baby daddy and hated seeing them together? Methinks not. I used the old faithful standby; I’d been busy.
In a way, it was nice to know she still valued our friendship. I needed to get better at keeping up with my friends. Outside of Laurant and Dwayne, I really hadn’t talked to anyone. I told her I’d do better. With that out of the way, naturally she wanted to know who was the blue-eyed angel who distracted me all night. That I did not mind confessing.
Derrick woke up cranky from his nap, so Diamond went to go soothe him. I took the opportunity to say hi to Jaron. But seeing him frustrated me. I just had to know. It was none of my business, but I just needed to know how this relationship came about.
“Why do you care?”
He was right. I didn’t. I shouldn’t. Doesn’t mean I still don’t want to punch him in his smug face.
