I did little for the rest of the day. Mostly cried in bed, thinking over my life and choices. Admittedly, having the time and space to do that without interruption was quite therapeutic. I don’t feel better, but I feel like I could be, in time. I guess Ali was looking out for me too.
Late afternoon, I got up and dressed. Just thinking about seeing my little ones energized me enough to put myself together presentably and bake a delicious cake for Alessia. Luca sprang into my arms when I walked through the door. I was so happy I could have cried. I probably did. Who cares?
Close behind him was Alessia, of course. She is his little shadow, but not for long. I scooped her up and squeezed so tight. Not even a full day had passed yet, but it felt like an eternity. Feeling her little body pressed against me filled me with immense joy. I couldn’t put her down, so I held her while Luca caught me up on today’s school shenanigans. Ali seemed to enjoy our little reunion at first, but I guess it was too painful because he walked away.
I should have gotten myself together earlier so I could arrive right after Luca got home from school, so we wouldn’t be so rushed. But it was nearing 8:00 already, so we had to get the party started. I thanked Ali for letting me bring the cake and wondered if he had a spare in the fridge, in case I was delinquent again. That’s neither here nor there. It’s my baby’s birthday! I’m SUPER excited to see her child self and talk to her, learning how her mind works.
We sang and made a great ruckus for her, and then I helped her blow out the candles. I didn’t put her down once since I arrived, but now I had to let her go and age up.
