I don’t think I slept at all. At 4:30 I couldn’t lay there anymore. All night, I thought about our baby. The sound of his heartbeat bouncing around my head was like a warning, warding off sleepiness and keeping my brain awake. The pixilated blob the doctor said was his face imprinted on my eyelids. I couldn’t stop seeing my son if I tried. GAAHH!! I loved being able to refer to him more personally! Like, he’d been living inside me all that time, making me sick and playing on my bladder like a trampoline, but I didn’t know him. Now I do.
As I went downstairs to make breakfast, I looked at a picture of me and Daddy from our first family vacation. We had one whole day together, and I had the best time with him. He took me fishing; we played horseshoes and watched movies. We’d never been alone before, and I think that was the first time I really got to know Winston Crenshaw. I hoped to build a close relationship like that with my son.
Vegetarian life hadn’t stuck yet, and I still had to concentrate on what I could and couldn’t cook. I stood at the fridge for a moment, thinking about what I could prepare that would be safe for Ali but also satisfy me. I had French toast yesterday, but omelets were always a safe bet. As I cracked the eggs, I heard a distant, echoed bark. At first I thought it was a dog a few blocks away. It kind of sounded like Hunter, honestly. The barking continued. Sometimes it sounded like it was in the yard and other times in the kitchen with me. My dear Hunter was gone, and I tried to suppress the idea of him coming back. But I couldn’t shake it. His grave was right outside the door. It very well could have been him, so I went outside to check.
It was him!! He came to see us! Could that day get any better?! I’d never seen a ghost before and was surprised by how much he looked like himself. He even still had all the folds in his skin! I hugged him, as much as one could hold a ghost, and I told him if he came back in a day or two I’d have a new little friend for him to meet.
