I enjoyed seeing Laurant, Diamond, and Darius having what looked to be a fun and civil family conversation. Because I don’t talk to him anymore, I don’t know how things have been between them. I think Diamond is still grappling with some unspoken things related to their failed relationship because she always avoids the topic. Maybe there is hope for a drama free co-parenting situation after all.
As the sun began its descent, I realized I’d been going non stop all day. Everyone split off into their own groups. Ali had Alessia and Luca had the tablet Mommy gave him. So I took my moment to breathe before the horror that is bath time. But the kids got hungry, and frankly so were we, so I grilled up some corn.
On the other side of the beach, I watched Ali and Dwayne talk. He always regards him with…I can’t quite put my finger on it. The first time they met, Dwayne’s mother had died, so Ali regarded him with care and tenderness, always asking about him and checking up on him. But now… I don’t know. It’s like Ali is curious about him. I guess it’s my fault. He knows about all my friends and how I feel about them, except Dwayne. If he ever asks me, I’ll tell him about our past. But for reasons I can’t really explain, I’m not comfortable volunteering that information. Still.
Someone else had a birthday right on the beach! I know we don’t usually do parties for our fur babies, but I hope Shiloh had a fun birthday laying on the beach, being terrorized by the kids. I still can’t believe she’s afraid of water!
Once the sun gets going in Sulani, it disappears quickly, so Ali and I pulled the kids away from their sand activities and went to Mommy’s. We divided and conquered for bath time so it wouldn’t be so bad. I had hoped the sun beating down on them all day would sap their energy, but they were just as wild after bath time. They wanted to play with Mommy, but she still goes to bed super early, and I didn’t want them disturbing her. But she insisted on me leaving them with her. Laughter and playful screaming erupted from her room, so I went upstairs to get myself showered and changed for bed. When I returned to check progress, I found all of them passed out in Mommy’s bed.
The way she laid sprawled out on the bed was so telling. I stifled a giggle so I wouldn’t wake them. She definitely knows how to wear a kid out, but from the looks of it they wore her out in the process. Her expression melted my heart. She went to sleep with a smile on her face, being in grandma heaven and all. It almost brought a tear to my eye. I let them stay with her briefly while I walked Shiloh one last time. I know she would have loved for them to spend the night with her, but there was no way I’d subject her to all the movement and kicking that happens when toddlers sleep. She’d get no rest, so when Ali and I were ready to sleep, we scooped them up and put them to bed.
That was the last time I saw Mommy alive.
I found it odd that she wasn’t awake and making breakfast when I got up, so I went to her room. There was an urn next to her bed. I was completely surprised at first, but after a few minutes I accepted it. I’d been trying to prepare my mind for this for weeks. I even found a little comfort knowing she was with Daddy again and that the last few weeks of her life were happy and fulfilling.
Keeping it together was relatively easy until I placed her urn next Daddy’s in the plot she purchased for them. Looking at what remains of my two loving parents, it hit me. I am alone in this world. Yes, I have my husband, children, and friends, but there is no one left to guide me and love me truly unconditionally, and that really sucks.
