I had to get the gushing out of the way before we got serious and I kicked him between his legs. Derrick is a little cutie and is actually looking more like Diamond every day. Darn those Clemons genes! That is gonna be one gorgeous child. Too bad I don’t have my children yet. They could grow up together. Billie’s son too.
I asked how things were going with them, and he said they were ok. Laurant gets Derrick on the weekends, and it’s never enough time, but better than nothing. Knowing he probably didn’t know, I asked if he knew how Diamond and Jaron got together. He was just as clueless as me. One day, he was at the apartment, picking up Derrick, and she was like, “oh by the way, I’m with Jaron now.” Maybe one day I’ll ask her.
The food came, and dinner was so painful. I think it was clear we were both conflicted. The small talk was frustrating, but yet we weren’t ready to get down to business. So I asked about his parents, and he asked about mine. But after a while, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Laurant…” I took a deep, cleansing breath to prepare for whatever came up. “Look, can we just do this? I can’t with the small talk.”
His eyes flickered a little in surprise, but he nodded confidently.
“What do you want from me? I thought we were supposed to chill.”
“I’m done chillin. I want you. And you know you want me too.”
He picked up his glass and sipped that beer like hot tea. His face and attitude were so smug as if to call meck chate. I wanted to be upset at the gall, but he’s not entirely wrong. Part of me still wonders about us sometimes. Part of me still wants to see if it could work. I wish meeting Ali made all my feelings for Laurant fly out of the window, but they didn’t. I kinda hate this process. But although I am conflicted on many levels, there are a few things I know and am confident about. 1.) I wish I were having dinner with Ali instead. When we hang out, there isn’t a huge llama at the table. 2.) I love how smiley and happy I am when I’m with Ali. 3.) I love how he consumes my thoughts and how driven I am to make him part of my life. 4.) I love how spontaneous and daring I’ve been since meeting him. Laurant is familiar and comfortable. That’s just not where I’m at right now.
“I have someone in my life now,” I said. “I’m really anxious to see where things go.”
“I’m seeing someone too, but-”
“But what? What kind of games are you playing??”
What is up with him?? How does he always end up with sims he’s halfway interested in? (sigh) I know why. Me. He only half commits so there’s room to cut and run if I ever agree to give it a go. I feel sorry for the girl. She’s probably really nice.
“You need to let me go, Laurant!”
“I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to do that.”
“Figure it out! I’m trying to move on, but I can’t do that with you pulling me back. You and me? This fantasy? It’s over. Not gonna happen!”
I hope I got my point across, but I hope I convinced myself as well.
“Nah. You still want to be with me.”
“I choose him. End of story.”
I’m gonna need a few more glasses to make it through this night. On second thought…it’s time to go home.
