Last night’s dinner rattled me more than I expected. I thought I would go in confident, have a few laughs, tell him about Ali and to leave me alone, and dip. The dust from our messy friendship had been settling quite nicely, but he came to dinner and blew it all back up in my face. This whole situation would be much easier to bear if I weren’t in limbo with Ali. I honestly don’t know where I stand with him. Does he even like me? Or am I projecting my feelings on him? Am I seeing things that aren’t there? I know I’ve been in his face a lot lately, and I basically ambushed him with my friendship, but… (sigh) Maybe I’m doing too much. Maybe he’s just lonely and needed a friend. Deep down, I know there’s more to it than that, but if only he would call, text, or give me some kind of sign. It doesn’t have to be anything deep. Hello would do. I just really need to know if I am in my feelings alone.
I need my daddy.
