Luca was sad for a while, but I guess I did a decent job explaining it to him, since he recovered in a few hours. I took him around the house and showed him my old family photos, introducing him to my daddy and a younger gammy. I told him how much they loved each other and that we don’t have to be sad because she is thrilled to be with Daddy again. He must have found that encouraging, knowing she wasn’t floating around in the dark alone. That was a win, and I desperately needed one.
The day wasn’t as bad as yesterday, with Luca being able to help now. But I still struggled. Luca did his best to entertain Alessia, but she still got fussy. And I swore every sink and toilet needed to be repaired today! It was non-stop, go go go, all day long. I never even made it out of my pajamas. To make matters worse, late afternoon, Luca came strolling in casually and announced Billie was outside. I know she’s family and all, but there’s no way I’m going to let her see me in my PJs at this hour. I asked Luca to watch Alessia for me while I dashed upstairs and got dressed.
I let Billie in and brought her to the deck outside our bedroom. Sadly, that was the first time I’d ever sat out there. Remember how excited I was about it when I bought this place? (sigh) She came to see Luca and give him a present but also wanted to see how I was. I hadn’t spoken to her since Mommy died, and she worried about me. She said I didn’t sound good on the phone when she called yesterday.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to confess my sins yet, but I mustered up the best smile I could and thanked her for checking on us. My friends have been calling, expressing their condolences and inviting me out for meals. If I didn’t have this other thing hanging over my head, I would be glad to see them right now. But life is too complicated at the moment, and I’d rather leave everyone out of it. Gosh… People are going to be so disappointed when they learn what I did.
