At dawn, Sophia got up to pee, so I pulled myself out of bed to make breakfast because I knew she’d be hungry and head for the kitchen next. I felt like trying my French toast recipe again, as I hadn’t perfected it yet. Cooking for Sophia had proven to be even more frustrating than cooking for Dad, because nearly everything contained dairy in some form. Scouring the internet every day for something new to try had gotten really old, so I started buying plant-based milk for my sanity. I think she appreciated it too because sometimes the temptation to eat dairy was so strong she gave in, damning the discomfort of bubble guts. How anyone could live life without cheese, I didn’t know.
“Mmmmm, that smells so good,” Sophia cooed.
“Thanks. I think I got it right this time.”
The plant-based milk worked well for most things, but I needed to make adjustments to my custard. In my initial trials, either the bread came out too soggy, or it developed an eggy crust while it cooked. Everything looked perfect this time, so I hoped to remember what I did for next time.
“Okay, so hear me out,” she started.
I had no idea what she was about to suggest, but I knew it would involve her not resting at home.
“It’s Night Out on the Town tonight! We should go.”
“Is that a good idea? You’re due literally at any moment now.”
“Okay, yeah, but this might be our last night as a child-free couple! We should spend some time together before we have to start scheduling it.”
I wanted to come up with an irrefutable rebuttal, but I had none. Her logic was sound, as always. She’d been cooped up inside a lot lately, anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to leave the house for a little while. It’s not like we were going jogging around the lake or anything.
“Okay. But we’re going to stay in town. There’s a nice restaurant in Anchorpoint Wharf I’ve been wanting to take you to.”
She clapped and did a little happy jig in her chair. I loved that woman.
Kooper and Rosie were getting old. Their coats turned gray, they slept a lot, and they walked a little slower. None of that seemed to stop them from running around the house like a pair of puppies, though. Rosie still demanded that Kooper play with her and dashed around the house and yard like she was training for a marathon. I loved that their age didn’t stop them from having a good time. I was playing with Kooper when I realized something that stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Oh my Watcher,” I shouted.
Sophia was behind me, asking what was the matter. I didn’t mean to startle her, but it just occurred to me that Alessia might have her babies today!
“We need to get to Mama’s house!”
She started to ask why, but I had already dialed Dad’s number to see if he would come. Once she overheard my end of the conversation, she went upstairs immediately and got dressed. Dad said he was already on his way and would meet us there.
When we arrived, Mama wasted no time checking up on Sophia and loving on her youngest grandchild. She hammered her with a bunch of questions, like if she was getting enough rest and if she had experienced early contractions. All moms were lay doctors, I guess. Just as I had begun to think it was nice to have the whole family together again, loud forbidden words and angry screams rang out from upstairs, followed by rapid stomps heading in our direction.
“I’M GOING TO MURDER HIM,” Alessia yelled.
“I’M GOING TO FIND HIM AND PUNCH IN HIS PRETTY FACE!! AND THEN I’M GOING TO CUT OFF HIS-“
“Whoa, Less,” I said. “What in the world happened?”
Her face was as red as a strawberry, and her eyebrows scowled, just like an angry cartoon character. The lasers shooting from her eyes made me want to stay out of her way, but I needed to know what and who upset her so.
“JACE happened!! He’s a PUNK!! Ol’ llama-faced liar!!! I’M GONNA KILL HIM!”
“What did he do, Less?”
“He went back to his ex! IN MT. KOMOREBI!! And he married her!! He f#@$ing MARRIED her!!! HE SAID HE LOVED ME!! Ever since we found out it was triplets he’s been weird!! HE IS DEAD TO ME!!!”
Mama had previously gone to the kitchen, no doubt to be near Dad when she noticed him taking out the trash, leaving only me to diffuse the situation. Alessia’s anger was palpable, like an electric current coursing through the room. I had never seen her like that before, and it both scared and fueled me. I tried balling my fists and breathing extra slow and deep to keep myself from going off, but thoughts of confronting that piece of shit and laying hands on him stirred a fire inside me. There was no kind, gentle way to deal with this, and if I ever saw that cowplant turd in the street, it would be on sight! Nobody betrayed my sister and got away with it. I should have known something was up when he bailed at the baby shower. I saw him when we arrived, but after that, he was nowhere to be found. How could he weasel his way into my sister’s fortified heart, knock her up, and leave her with THREE babies??? Did he really think running away to the mountain would absolve him of fatherhood? Like, did he not know child support was a thing? And he had THREE to support?? What an idiot! COWARD!! I hoped his wife had a real job because I knew Alessia would try to milk him dry. He’ll be sorry he even met her! The sheer audacity of it all made my blood boil.
I was concerned about my niece and nephews and finally got Less to sit down. She didn’t exactly calm down, because how could she? But she and I had a great time plotting and scheming against ol’ Jace, planning what we’d do to him the next time we saw him. True, that wasn’t healthy either, but it sure was fun. Revenge wasn’t really Sophia’s style, and she remained quiet. She also didn’t have a sibling she would take up for at any moment, so she didn’t understand why I acted like that and occasionally tried to talk sense into us.
But just like when she was a kid, Less found it hard to sit still and be calm, so she jumped up and paced the room, fuming like a teakettle. Even though he would eventually find out, I hoped Dad was still outside during Alessia’s initial rant. Her situation was way too close to home, and I feared it might trigger him, especially being in Mama’s house with all of us. But like I said, he would eventually find out. He and Mama came out from wherever they were, asking what all the yelling was about. I guess Mama had enough of Less’ pregnant mood swings to come find out immediately. Less filled them in, and I saw a quiet rage growing within my dad. He looked just like how I felt. Maybe we could take another family trip to Mt. Komorebi and murder him together, heh.
I saw Mama eyeing me, as if to silently ask what we should do as the expert on all things mind, body, and soul. But I had no answers for her. My mind was set on destroying Jace, and my body was ready for it. I felt that in my soul, ha!
“I think we all need a dip in the pool,” she said. “That should relax these tense mommies, right buddy?”
I sensed both sincerity and sarcasm in her tone, as she seemed disappointed that I provoked instead of diffusing the situation. Either way, she was right. Less definitely needed to calm down, but the rest of us did too, so we got changed and hopped into the pool.
