Our journey home is appropriately silent. We don’t even have occasional coos from Desi because she is completely captivated by all the sights and sounds passing her by. I never thought about what life might be like as an infant, experiencing the world for the first time. It has to be quite intimidating at times, but our sweet potato is taking it like a champ. It also could be because she’s safe in Sophia’s arms, heh.
I’m trying to think positive thoughts. Grief is healthy and necessary, but I didn’t want to be the type of sim whose life went on pause while he fell apart. I wanted to keep going while also taking the time to mourn this colossal loss. I tried to come up with creative ways to spin Dad’s absence so it didn’t sound so grim, but no matter what I came up with, the sadness remained. There’s no cheat code for grief, I guess. Oh well. I tried.
Sophia and I park on the couch when we arrive at home. She passes Desi to me as a simple gesture, hoping it would cheer me up, probably. Heh, maybe she too thinks there are cheat codes. Desi doesn’t take away the pain, but her huge, inquisitive eyes make it a little better. I think she knows something isn’t right, but as long as we keep holding her, she’ll let it slide.
“You were great today,” Sophia said.
My appreciation is lackluster at best. She must have mistaken my weariness for apathy because she explained why what I did was so great. Most sims aren’t able to stay calm and be so cordial in that situation, and most remarks are kinda jumbled and all over the place because of the overwhelming emotions. I could have told her I was heading in that direction and took the coward’s way out, but if thinking I’m so emotionally stable makes her feel better, I won’t take that away from her. At least tonight.
