I don’t know what I was thinking. I saw the lightning and heard the thunder but felt no danger, so I did what I always did when I get up: harvest and tend the money tree. The rain watered its dry roots, so with nothing to do except run outside, pluck, and run back, why would I ever think I’d get struck by lightning? And why would I think it could happen twice?! It was the weirdest experience of my life. Jolts of electricity coursed through my body felt less like pain and more like the strongest vibration one could imagine. It singed my clothes, but I didn’t burst into flames or even feel dazed the first time, so I tried to go back inside. But then it got me again on the porch just as I entered the house! The vibration overtook me again, and I thought for sure that would be my last day on earth. Twice in a row? I should have been a goner! But instead of dying, I felt a surge of energy! It built up inside of me so quickly, I felt like I might explode, and it scared me. I could feel the electricity running up and down my body and see sparks popping off my skin. I didn’t want to touch anything for fear of igniting everything. Good thing Sophia had already left, because that would have freaked her out. With any luck, the kid won’t notice anything off about me. What am I supposed to do with all this energy? Run around inside like Rosie? I can’t risk going back outside.
“Daddy? I don’t feel good.”
This is a first. I put aside my own problems for a moment to focus on my ailing child.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“My tummy!”
“Does it hurt? You feel sick?”
“Sick.”
“Okay. Sit tight for a minute. I got something that will fix you right up.”
I found a bottle of medicine and gave it to her. No one, and I mean literally no one, knew the contents of that mysterious brown bottle. All anyone knew was that it cured most ailments. She downed the bottle like a champ.
“How do you feel? Do you need to lie down?”
“No. I feel great!”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes, Desi?”
“Why do your eyes glow?”
“My eyes? What are you talking about?”
“You look like a superhero! Come look!”
She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the big mirror in the living room. A very less than manly scream ejected from my mouth, but at least the girl thought it was funny.
“Let’s watch a movie,” she shouted, pulling me down to the couch.
“I, uhh…I don’t know if I should do that!”
There was literal electricity flowing through my body! And it was shooting out of my eyes!! Is watching TV safe? Is Desi safe?? I felt like I should just go upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom or something until this passes. Oh Watcher, what if it doesn’t pass?? Am I going to be a freak forever??
“Come on, Daddy!”
With outside activities canceled for the foreseeable future, and it wasn’t even noon yet, we had a whole lot of time to kill before Sophia got home with very little to do. So, I sat down and hoped I didn’t zap the TV. I tried not to look at first, but nothing happened, so I kept watching whatever movie she turned on. I thought I should send Sophia a warning, since I didn’t know how long I’d be like this. My text said I might look a little different when she got home. She assumed Desi found her toddler makeup kit and used it on me, so at least I hadn’t freaked her out.
Desiree was really into this movie, laughing her little head off, so I decided to pay attention and see what it was all about. I never really enjoyed kids’ programming. Not even when I was a child myself. Alessia ate that stuff up though. But to my surprise, the movie was actually quite interesting, and I got really invested. Desi got to hear me squeal for a second time when the giant robot thing came and began destroying the town. But when the kid heroes showed up, we were both cheering. I guess kids’ movies have gotten better over the years.
Kooper needed a bath, so I took him upstairs. Alessia called and invited Desi over, so by the time Sophia got home, not only were we home alone, but also my situation had cleared up. She was very confused and wanted to know why I texted her earlier, so I explained. I swear she went through all the emotions as my story progressed. She started out panicked when I told her I got struck by lightning not once, but twice. I didn’t think we’d be able to move past that point when the tears started, but somehow we made it. By the end of the story, she was laughing. Laughing! She called me Electro Man and asked if I took a selfie so she could see my eyes. I swear. That woman can find humor in anything! I love that about her.
