Desi was watching TV when I returned, looking exactly as she did before leaving, so I figured they went to a nail salon. But when Sophia walked in, I knew they had gone to both a nail and a hair salon. What a day, and what a look! She was drop-dead gorgeous.
“You let her cut off all her gorgeous hair??” I asked Desi.
She simply shrugged. The teenage carelessness has settled in nicely, I see.
“Do you like it?” Sophia asked, hesitantly.
“I love it! You look so…so regal! Now I need a makeover, so folks don’t think I’m bringing you down!”
“Stop it! There’s nothing wrong with how you look.”
“You keep thinking that,” I said. “You look amazing.”
“My head feels so light,” she said.
“I know what you mean.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. My hair has always been thick and long, but after my teen birthday, I wanted to try something different, so I shaved off the back and the sides and ended up with this…curly fade, I guess. My head was so cold in the winter.”
“Oh right! I forgot you had shorter hair when we met. It’s gonna take me a while to get used to this,” she said. “I miss my hair already!”
“But you like it, right?”
“Yeah… Yeah, I do.”
Somewhere in the middle of that conversation, we lost Desi. I found her in the kitchen having dinner, so I joined her to see where her head was at.
“Are you pumped up about school tomorrow??”
“Yeah…I guess,” she said.
“It’s okay to be nervous. Everyone is nervous on the first day.”
“But Breanna, Lex, and Arvin had their first day today. What if they all made friends and don’t want to talk to me anymore?”
“Awww, Des, that’s impossible! They love you! And they’re your cousins. Family doesn’t throw each other away like that.”
Just as I was about to ask a follow up question, my phone rang. It was Dub. The sound of his voice, thick with emotion and shaky from suppressed sobs, caused me to rush outside for privacy. He tried to play it off at first, like nothing was wrong—like he always did—but eventually the floodgates opened and he broke down. Maia kicked him out of the house! I was mistaken to immediately conclude he cheated because I knew he would never do that, but I did, and that thought infuriated me. I hate I felt that way about my best friend, but my childhood trauma reared its ugly head once again. He tried so hard to hide the source of his distress, but he always rambles and gives himself away bit by bit. I put the few pieces together he let slip and gathered this was about the same thing we talked about last time he was over here upset about something: his parenting. He told me a bit more once I expressed I was onto him. How about this man bought a whole horse behind his wife’s back! I don’t claim to have all the facts of the situation, but the little I had, I knew that was a huge mistake. Honestly, I think it would be a huge mistake, regardless. When they were here, Tami was relentless about this horse thing. The way she kept bringing it up was more like veiled threats than simple childish pestering. Dub tried to joke it away, never giving her an answer and deflecting at every turn. He even joked about me buying it for her to get the heat off him. I know he has money, and buying a horse is not beyond the realm of possibility, but I didn’t think he’d actually do it. I assumed he knew it was just trivial childish behavior. Even my niece had dreams of being a horse trainer. She still does, actually. Lots of little girls have a thing for horses, and it’s usually a phase. But now Tami’s got her horse, and her bad behavior has been rewarded once again in a big way.
Dub was super distraught and remorseful, and of course, all of this came too late. He’s afraid he’s gonna lose his family for good. I felt for him and started walking toward his house, but he insisted he was okay and didn’t need company. What do I say?? I have no words of wisdom or comfort this time. I don’t know everything about Dub, but I do know he gets in his own way a lot. And for Maia to say she’s done with him? There has to be more he’s not telling me. He asks for reassurance, but I can’t give it. The only assurance I can offer is just a sliver of hope for the future. Maybe after things calm down, they’ll be able to talk things through. But in the meantime, he needs to give her the space she needs, pinpoint the root cause of this issue, and eliminate it.
After a while, I can’t bear listening to him cry anymore. That’s bad, I know. It’s not that I don’t want to support him, but he doesn’t want my company, and I have nothing to offer, so what is my purpose here? Luckily, he ended the conversation. I went back inside for dinner with my head reeling and heart aching for all of them. It aches the most for Tami, being the product of a broken home myself. I feel for Maia, who has carried the weight of Dub’s missteps all this time. And of course I feel for my boy. He’s guilty, but I don’t want to see him going through so much pain. This really sucks.
Desi playing with the dogs makes me smile. I cherished that moment, not because I needed something positive to lift my spirits, but because I realized some things about her never change, no matter how much she evolves right in front of our eyes. That was a great comfort to me.
Sophia joins me, and I need to tell her about what I just learned, but not in front of the kid. I hope she knows something that can shed light on this mystery, having spent a few hours with Maia.
“I need to talk to you,” I said in a low tone.
She nodded, no questions asked. I love that I never need to explain myself to her. She understands the assignment every time.
