I used nearly half the shampoo stalling and hiding from Dub. Hopefully Kooper didn’t conflate running away with spa treatments, heh. The water resembled mud after all my scrubbing, and I knew I couldn’t delay any longer before his skin got wrinkled. I had to face my friend. So, I gave Kooper a thorough rinse, dried him as best I could, and let him go. I tip-toed out the bathroom, trying to buy a few more seconds before presenting myself. I half expected to find Dub giving himself a tour, but he sat still on the couch with his head in his hands. The creaky floorboards gave away my light steps, and he sat up.
“Desi said she’s taking Rosie on a walk,” he said.
When I entered his line of sight, his eyes doubled in size.
“Whoooooa, what’s going on, Luc? How much of that sweet tea are you drinking?? Do we need to do an intervention?”
“Ha ha,” I said flatly.
If only my problem was as simple as that. I knew he was joking, but I found it interesting how he always seemed to unknowingly poke fun at the lowest points of my life.
“But for real, bro, what’s going on?” he asked. “This isn’t like you.”
I swallowed a lump as large as a grapefruit. A quiver in my stomach unrelated to morning sickness or the baby threatened to undo me. In my heart, I knew he would treat this situation with care and support me, but he’s the first person outside of the safety of my home to learn about my…issue. I’m afraid of what everyone will think.
“Yeah…I, uhh,” I paused and cleared my throat, “I was gonna call you. I, umm, okay—I gotta tell you something even crazier than getting struck by lightning.”
His narrowed eyes locked onto my next words.
“But what could be crazier than that?” he asked.
“Well … being pregnant, for one.”
Even though I conveyed that message just a few moments ago, it wasn’t any easier that time. I can help Desi work through her feelings, but I don’t know what my friends will think when they get home. Telling him felt like throwing our lottery winnings into a fountain, hoping for a good return. Exercising that much faith is scary as hell.
“It’s a boy,” I added.
He went from skeptical to laughing in three seconds flat.
“That’s a good one! You almost had me. I needed that!”
I expected unbelief. Hell, I still had trouble believing it myself sometimes.
“I wish I were joking. I got abducted, Dub. They took me, right there in yard, and-“
A rogue tear fell, and I wiped it quickly. Dub stared at me, horrified.
“Wait, you’re serious?? They stuck a probe up your-“
“Yes! Or at least that’s what I assumed happened.”
“B-but that only happens on TV! Are you sure this is real?”
“I’m sure, Dub. I’ve got the medical bill to prove it.”
If the situation wasn’t so serious, I would have laughed at all his faces as he went on a silent journey in his mind.
“Bro, you got an ALIEN growing inside you??”
“Maybe. He could be a sim. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
“How are you so calm right now??”
Something about that question unlocked the gate that was supposed to keep my emotions at bay. My body rebelled, signaling it had reached its limit. I couldn’t keep holding everything inside for everyone else’s sake. While I run to everyone else’s rescue, who rescues me? Why do I do that?
“I’m anything but. I’m scared, Dub! And I’m pissed! This entire week has been a nightmare! I don’t feel safe at home anymore! Now I’m wearing all these dark, baggy clothes because I feel like a freak! Look at this! I’m a freak, man!”
I wiped my tears and tried to gather myself. Dub sat there staring at me, taken aback by my outburst. As I calmed down, I could see him over there considering everything I said, trying to reconcile it with everything he’s ever believed.
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” he asked.
I shifted in my seat, trying to hide from the painful truth.
“I mean, of course I’d prefer not to. Who wants to look like a freak for a week and then have a constant reminder of what happened? But what else can I do? I can’t do…that. I just can’t. But there is a small part of me that’s happy to have a son.”
“I was wondering if you felt that way.”
“Yeah. I didn’t want him like this, though, Dub. It’s so painful! And I’ve been sick all day, every day! How do women do this multiple times??”
I appreciated the sympathy in his eyes, although pity and unease accompanied it.
“Wow. I’m sorry, Luc. This is a lot to deal with. I don’t know how I can help, but I will. I’m here for you, bro.”
“Thanks, Dub. I really appreciate that.”
Just then, I remembered he came to me, and I hijacked his visit.
“Man, I’m sorry. Did you want to talk about something?”
He opened and closed his mouth a few times and laughed uncomfortably.
“I swear, every time I think my life sucks, you show me how things can be worse,” he said.
“Uhhh…I’m choosing to take that as a compliment.”
“I’m serious, though. Maia kicked me out, my marriage is on the rocks, and my mom died, but at least I’m not having some alien’s baby!”
“Your mom? I’m so sorry, Dub. When did this happen?”
“Earlier this week. I’m so glad I went home when I did. I went seeking comfort and advice. If I would have known that would be the last time I’d see her … I just would have done so many things differently.”
“You know I know that pain all too well.”
“This hurts really bad—especially seeing my dad in so much pain. He’s always been so strong. Seeing him like that just breaks me.”
I shook my head, recalling how much Dad’s death affected Mama despite their estrangement. I don’t think I could survive losing Sophia. My life is meaningless without her.
“I understand,” I said. “I wish I didn’t, but I do. But listen, man. I might be going through a lot right now, but I’m still here for you. Please don’t try to carry this yourself for my sake.”
He nodded, looking relieved to still have me in his corner.
“So, how are things with Maia?”
He let out a frustrated sigh.
“Everything is so messed up, Luc. I love her, and I want her back, but I don’t know if she wants me. I asked her to tell me what she wants, but our marriage counselor said it was a childish question. Even Maia said she feels like she’s raising two children!”
Dub did have childish tendencies, but it didn’t feel right to agree with them at the moment. Luckily, he had more to say.
“Is it so wrong to want clarity? I just want to know if I’m fighting for something that isn’t worth saving. She’s always so cryptic with her feelings! What does she want from me??”
He took a moment to calm himself before continuing.
“I just want to know what she wants. But at the same time, I get why she’s frustrated. She said some things to me before I didn’t understand or even accept, but seeing her thrive without me, I see what she meant. Regardless of how I feel, I need to become someone she wants. I’m gonna give her the space she wants and move into my own place.”
“This is gonna sound weird, but I’m so proud of you, Dub. That is the most mature thing you’ve ever said, and I mean that in the best way.”
“Thanks. You and my dad have been telling me what to do this whole time, but I’m finally ready to do the work.”
Just then, his whole body shook, and his eyes lit up like Winterfest.
“OH,” he shouted. “I think I got it!”
“What in the world, Dub? You scared me.”
“Sorry! I just had a thought about your abduction! I think I know why it happened!”
“Okaaay…”
“You got struck by lightning twice and survived! They probably figured anyone who could survive that might be strong enough for their, uhhh, you know.”
“Hmmm…that’s a very compelling theory. I’m tempted to believe it, but I don’t think I’m that strong.”
“Hmph. Better you than me. If I ever bring another baby home by any means, I really believe my daughter would cut off my jewels and feed them to the cat! How did Desi take it?”
“WOW, thanks for that visual. That was exactly what I needed stuck in my head.” I shook it violently, trying to rid myself of that image. “Desi is still processing, but she took it way better than I imagined.”
“That’s good. These girls are so territorial. It’s hard to know how they’ll react.”
“Yeah, I was very nervous.”
“Oh, hi Dub,” Sophia said, coming in the front door. “So sorry about your mother. I saw Maia post about it a little while ago.”
She walked toward him with open arms.
“Thanks, Sophia. I appreciate that.”
“Look at your hair,” she shouted. “It looks so good!”
“You think so? I’m still not sure about it.”
“I had the same feeling after I cut mine.”
“Yours looks great, too.” he said. “Maybe if we work together, we can get your boy over here to cut his, too. I think it’s time to let that Tarzan look go!”
He and Sophia shared a hearty laugh, and I was glad he found a little joy amid turmoil—even if it was at my expense. I love my hair. It’s a big part of my whole vibe. But thinking about it, I’d always changed my hairstyle at key moments of my life, just like my mom. Maybe I am overdue for a change. I’ve had long hair, medium hair, and something between medium and short, heh. What shall I do next? What does Luca Winston Murillo, father of two, survivor of aliens, look like?
