Since our guests left, I got started on tummy time while Sophia encouraged Desi to make offerings to the gnomes. Me and Less never bothered with them and thought they were more of a nuisance than a fun tradition. I should have known Sophia would be excited about them because she enjoyed stuff like that. Despite the absurdity, I appreciate her sharing it with Desi.
Logan surprised me when I put him on the mat. I remembered Desi lying there for a few moments before realizing the goal and struggling to lift her head. But not Logan. As soon as he was free of my grasp, he lifted his head as if it were the most natural thing to do. Were alien babies stronger than Sims? Or did I just have a really amazing son? Like Desi, he enjoyed viewing the world from his new vantage point, but after a while, he randomly gave up, cried for a few seconds, and then got back at it. I was so proud. Desi was nearby watching us, so I told her he reminded me a lot of her when she was a baby. Her eyes blazed like bright Winterfest lights.
“He does?”
“Oh, yeah. You were such a champ. I don’t know what went on in your head, but you worked so hard at all your milestones.”
“Really?”
“Yep. We worked on sitting up for a couple of days, and on the last day I felt it in my bones. I knew you were gonna sit up. That night, just a few minutes before midnight, I took you downstairs to eat. I turned my back for a few moments to get a bottle, and when I turned around, there you were, sitting up on your own!”
“That’s kinda cool,” she said. She looked like she was a little bit proud of her younger self.
“You were very cool. You surprised me a lot, actually. I turned around one morning, and you were gone. It freaked me out, but I knew you couldn’t have gone far.”
“I walked?”
“Crawled. I found you playing with Kooper on the other side of the couch.”
Seeing her enjoying stories of her infancy reminded me of a story I always wanted to tell her.
“Do you remember asking me about where babies came from?”
She nodded.
“Can I hold him?” she asked.
“Of course you can.”
I handed him over, and the biggest smile stretched across his face. It’s just like I told her: if she loved and protected him, he’d be her biggest fan. He’s already sprung, ha!
“Do you remember what I said…about why you didn’t have siblings?”
She nodded again.
“I think you’re old enough to understand the whole story now.”
Her eyes lit up again and warmed my heart. Those tender moments between her and me had gotten fewer and farther in between as she created a life for herself. It was nice knowing she still loved hanging with ol’ dad.
“Your mom and I were excited to start a family. We started trying immediately. We tried and tried and tried, but it just wouldn’t happen.”
Her face fell a little, as if it had just occurred to her this would be a painful story.
“We went to the doctor, and it turned out we both had low fertility. Do you know what that means?”
She thought about it for a moment.
“That’s what you meant when you told me you didn’t have any special seeds?” she asked.
“Exactly. Well, it’s not that I didn’t have any, but there weren’t enough to do it the traditional way.”
All of a sudden, I remembered the conversations I’d had with Mama when I was a teenager. She was always so open and honest about her life. Did she ever feel weird about sharing intimate details like that with me? I’d always wanted Desi to learn about how she came into our lives, but talking about my woohoo health with her was super weird. She was into it, though. The story…not my health, heh.
“We had discussed adoption before, but even though we agreed it could be an option, we didn’t want to give up on having our own baby, so we tried one more thing before that.”
I didn’t mean to pause right there, but I accidentally left her dangling on a cliff. She hung on my every word.
“Do you know what artificial insemination is?” I asked.
“Uhhh, maybe?”
“Well, I don’t know exactly how it works either, but basically they took some of my seeds and put it in the same place with one of Mommy’s eggs in a lab. They wait to see if the seeds will fertilize the egg. If it does, then they take the egg and put it back inside the mom. That’s how we got you. We were so happy.”
She sat with my explanation for a moment, letting it breathe, deciding how she felt about it.
“That’s why you call me your little miracle sometimes?” she asked.
“That’s exactly why. The doctors were hopeful it would work, but they gave us no guarantees. Our dream of having our own natural children dangled by a thread, but you came. The timing was a bit late, but honestly, you were right on time.”
“That’s cool…I guess.”
I got up to wash my plate and admired her from the sink for a moment. She loved on Logan, and he rewarded her with wide smiles and happy shrieks. My heart was so full. I stretched my arms out to her, and she entered my embrace.
“I love you, Desi. I’m so proud of you. You’re kind, smart, beautiful, and you’re such a great big sister already. I’m so happy you’re in my life.”
