Silence hung between me and Sophia like a dense fog on the way to Alessia’s house. The whoosh of passing cars and the murmur of phone conversations were usually the city’s constant soundtrack, but to me, it sounded distant and garbled, like hearing under water. Sophia’s eyes tracked the blurred cityscape as if she sought a hidden message in it. I kept my eyes ahead as the words She sees me replayed in my mind like a broken record.
We picked up the kids and headed home. Silence followed us like a lost puppy. As soon as we stepped inside, I felt the walls closing in, so I changed clothes, laced up my running shoes, and bolted. I pounded the pavement for a couple of miles through the tree-lined streets as evening faded in. The air was still damp from yesterday’s rain, softening patches of earth beneath my steps. By the time I looped back toward home, the briny air from the bay hit stronger, clinging to my skin like sweat. It always reminded me I was close to home, but tonight it only reminded me I wasn’t ready to go inside.
I went to the garden instead, as I hadn’t harvested the money tree yet. Not sure why I even continued doing that. It seemed a shame to just let it die. Maybe if I kept at it, my grandchildren and their children would have the same freedom Desi and I have. A few carrots were also ready to harvest. The soil was cool and damp, just like the air. It should’ve calmed me, but I felt restless, so I sat on the meditation stool, crossed my legs, closed my eyes, inhaled, and exhaled. Peace in, chaos out. I made that up on the fly, but it was too good to forget. I tried to let go. A breeze off the bay drifted through, rattling the bare branches over my head. Most days, the breeze felt clean and peaceful. Tonight it only carried her words back to me. Not anymore.
Running, gardening, and meditation hadn’t helped. I was still tangled up in Sophia’s words, trying desperately to claw my way out. I had more talking to do, but I had hurt Sophia enough for one night. Dub may not have been the best candidate to mediate, but he’s the perfect man for this job. I pulled out my phone and shot him a text.
I peered around the neighborhood as I climbed his steps, missing Gilbert Garden and recalling all the amazing memories. We found peace there. Would I still be visiting my best friend right now if we hadn’t left? Was this situation always waiting around for the right time to clobber us?
“Hey, Luc.” He paused and clocked my sour vibe almost immediately. “Uh oh … you look like you need a drink. Don’t tell me you killed a boy.”
“Heh, the boy is safe for now. I could really use that drink, though.”
“You came to the right place. Let’s go.”
We went back into the chill of night and headed downstairs into Wade’s Man Cave. The place still had that Grand Opening shine and fresh leather smell. Naturally, it was quiet, but not in a hollow way. More like the walls themselves were catching their breath after a long day. Dub settled in behind the bar, and I took a stool. He reached for a glass and poured without asking what I wanted, heavy-handed enough to make the foam spill over the rim. He set it down in front of me, then braced both hands on the counter and studied me like he was waiting for me to crack first.
“So, what’s going on, bro? Can’t say I’ve ever seen you like this.”
“Can’t say I’ve ever been like this.”
“What’s up?”
I rubbed condensation off the glass, looking for the best place to begin. “I messed up.”
His eyes narrowed slowly, like his brain zipped through lines of code, trying to calculate where my story would go. “If this is even remotely related to Chi Chi, I SWEAR!”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Better not be! Because if YOU can’t keep it together, there’s no hope for the rest of us! I just went on a date! I don’t need this in my head!”
I snorted. “Oh, I’m sorry my problems are such an inconvenience for your life.” Only Dub could take a crisis and make it about him. Love that guy. “But seriously, man, please don’t put that on me. I told you before; I’m flawed just like every other man.”
“Yeah, but you do a hellavuh job making the rest of us look bad most of the time.”
“Stop. I’ve made myself look bad. So what’s this about a date?”
“Nah, bro. You’re not getting off that easy. What did you do??”
I exhaled again, wishing I didn’t have to rehash this. Once for Justin was already too many.
“Same as you,” I said. “Took Sophia for granted. Made her feel insecure.”
He nodded slowly, knowing that mistake too well. “Unfortunately, that’s way too easy to do. But what happened, though?”
I leaned back, shaking my head at my actions, realizing for the first time how ridiculous they were. “I actually accused her of flirting with Chi Chi, Dub.”
“What?!“
His voice bounced off the walls and flew into my ears with a vengeance. I should have known I couldn’t escape sharing the details.
“She came over for Winterfest and gave her a gift. You know how she is—she laid it on thick.”
“OH yeah. I remember. She had me side-eyeing Maia at your bachelor party!”
“Right! So Chi Chi came in hot, and Sophia responded in kind. It did something to me, Dub. She had a little twinkle in her eye, an extra spring in her step, and the way she leaned into her-“
“Don’t tell me she’s going to the other side! I can’t take anymore broken relationships right now.”
“Part of me thought that. Honestly, that’s what got us into this mess. But deep down I knew I’d read too far into it. Sophia would never. And right in front of me? She’s not that cruel. But I couldn’t get over how familiar it felt. My parents were happy, but my mom still cheated on my dad. I figured this was something like that.”
Dub shook his head hard. “But you know Sophia. She would give her left arm for you! And you know how women are together. That’s just what they do! You really went nuclear because of a little flirt? A little flirting never hurt anyone.”
“A little flirting is how it starts!”
He arched an eyebrow. “So, you mean to tell me you never flirted with Chi Chi? Not even once?”
“Never. Why would I?”
“Come on, bro. You can’t receive that kind of energy and not give a little back.”
“And give her an impression I don’t want her to have?”
“Wow, you really are serious about this.”
“Of course I’m serious! I’m not open to my family breaking apart!”
“Your childhood trauma has a serious hold on you, bro. You’re projecting it onto Sophia. Maia used to do the same thing, and I couldn’t stand it. You can’t keep carrying that around, letting it control your life, Luc. You’re making this bigger than it really is.”
“You might be right. But that’s not even the worst part.” I paused for a moment, shaking my head again at how quickly things had escalated. “She said Chi Chi makes her feel the way I used to make her feel. She said I don’t see her anymore.”
His mouth fell open. “What? No way. You damn near worship that woman!”
“I thought I was doing everything right—that everything was fine. But she said I don’t look up when she walks into the room anymore or sit around and laugh with her. She said…” My chest tightened and my throat burned from the onslaught of tears threatening to take me down, but I fought back hard. “She said I don’t ask how she’s doing, Dub.”
He chewed on my words for a moment before leaning back, sighing. “Are you unhappy?”
“Of course not! She has my whole heart!”
“Good. Then, your problem is easily fixable!”
“You think? How?”
“You just need to woo her! Show her how much she means to you, that you haven’t forgotten her. Make her feel special. Spit some of that Luc game at her!”
He poked me in the ribs, flashing a grin just long enough to cut the weight in the room. I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t know where you got the impression that I’m a smooth operator, but I’m gonna have to disappoint you.”
“What? No. All these ladies around you? You’re just being modest.”
“I’m not a flirty guy, Dub! I’ve got great genes, and I just say what I feel.”
“Well, you need to figure it out and fast because you do NOT want to be out here with me in these dating streets! It’s not worth it to throw away your marriage and start over with someone new. I would give anything to have the security of my marriage back! Finding love at our age is not a good look, bro. Figure it out! Try everything! You don’t want these problems.”
“I don’t … But what do I do? I don’t know how to come back from this!”
“Just go back to the beginning! What did you do when you were dating?”
Heh, avoided her. Dated other women. Surely that wasn’t the formula. I sat there and thought about the various times she called me romantic even though I didn’t see why she’d think that. My mind also went back to our first real date—the night our official relationship began. I had taken her to a super fancy restaurant, and she was so overwhelmed. She told me it was too much. I remembered how cute she was, hiding behind her napkin when I told her she was beautiful. When was the last time I told her that? Have I seriously stopped complimenting my wife?? This was worse than I thought.
“I hope you did your yoga stretches and meditation because you’re going DOWN, Luc. I don’t tolerate getting my ass beat in my own house!”
Dub’s foosball handle snapped forward. The ball ricocheted toward my goal.
“Good thing we’re not in your house.”
I twisted hard and blocked. A loud clack echoed off the walls, telling Dub I brought my A-game.
“OH! Okay? That’s how it is?”
He grinned wide, shoulders loose, like he’d been waiting for this all night.
“So, ummmm … Tami’s got a little friend, huh?” I asked, mostly to keep him from crowing too loud about the goal he hadn’t made yet.
His grin vanished. “He BETTER be a friend! But knowing my daughter, I know he’s not.”
“Well … going by what a little birdie told me, he’s probably not even on her radar anymore.”
“Whaaaaat? Say more things!!”
He leaned over the table, handles rattling as he tried to steal the ball back.
“I don’t want to steal the girl’s thunder, but… Okay, let’s just say the message in your pre-prom speech was well received.”
“You can’t leave me hanging like that! Say more!”
I smirked, smacking the ball shot into his goal. Score!
“You should hear it from Tami, but let’s just say the boy thought too highly of himself, and she stood on business. That’s all I’m going to say.”
Dub threw his head back and laughed, shaking the foosball handle like it owed him money. “That’s a relief. Tami has always had a mind of her own. I’m glad some of what I said stuck this time.”
“That’s the part about parenting that drives me crazy, especially being a father of a girl! You never know what sinks in until you do. Meanwhile, we’re just sitting around stressed and worried about what the boys are thinking!”
“BRUH!” Dub’s voice cracked across the table like thunder. “And mine isn’t even in my house anymore, so I’m EXTRA stressed and clueless.”
“Ugh. I didn’t even think about that.”
His situation and mine weren’t the same, but my stomach turned imagining Desi out of the house soon. Too soon. Like, unfathomably soon.
“How is it with Desi, though? She’s always been so sweet and chill.”
“She’s still sweet but losing her chill by the minute, heh.” I flicked my wrist and sent the ball skittering downfield. “Her little dude is okay though. Seems to really be into her … and not like that.”
Dub shot back, but his defense was too slow. “Oh! He might be a keeper then.”
“Can we not go there??”
“I’m just saying,” he shouted. “He’s gotta be better than that Mr. Slick Tami brought over here—all confident and knowing how to say the right things. Now I’m mad all over again! Anyway … how did Desi drop the news to you?”
“She’s crafty.” I blocked another of his shots. “To be honest, I have to give it to her for how she’s presenting him to us. I knew for a while there was someone distracting her. She told Sophia about prom, so I told Desi to invite him for dinner.”
“Great minds!” He chuckled. “So what’s he like?”
“He’s such a Nervous Nelson. I don’t think I have to worry about him trying anything. It’s her.”
“Same, bro. Same. We both have raised strong queens. It’s gonna take somebody extra special to rise up to their standards.”
“Extra extra special.”
The ball stalled in the middle. Both of us fought for it. Dub let up, like he forgot about his no-lose policy.
His tone also shifted. “Speaking of special … how’s everything going with Logan?”
The handles slowed under my hands as the question pulled me somewhere softer.
“Aww, man. He’s my little buddy. Super smart and strong. And so happy! I almost never catch him not smiling or giggling until he falls over.”
Just talking about him tugged a grin onto my face despite how heavy the day had been.
“That’s great, Luc.” He flashed a genuine smile. “You should bring him by sometime. I’d love to meet him.”
“It’ll be interesting to see how he reacts to you.”
“Yeah? Why, does he have some seventh alien sense or something?”
“I don’t know. That or he’s just very cautious about who we let into his space.”
“Ahhh. What happened?”
“Well, most recently, he screamed his little head off when Father Winter got him.”
Dub doubled over, laughing so hard his players spun uselessly on the rods. “Noooooo, not Father Winter! He can’t think he’s sus.”
“I don’t know, dude. Maybe it’s the beard.”
“Definitely the beard. It is unnatural to have hair that long on your face!”
“Agreed.” I stole another goal while he was laughing. “Another time, Desi introduced him to one of her friends, and he was so freaked out he put on his sim disguise.”
“But was it cute?”
“Of course.” I chuckled despite myself. “It looked nothing like me apart from the skin tone, but it was cute. Freaky, though. Like, I knew he was my son, but his face was foreign.”
Dub leaned back, shaking his head. “That whole situation is freaky as hell. I don’t know how you haven’t lost your mind.”
“Trust me. There were times I thought I would. Sophia kept me sane. And I tried to keep it positive. It’s still a process, though. I’m hoping I can get to a place where I can see him as just my son and not an alien who is my son.”
“Wow.” His hands stilled on the foosball handles. “Just … wow. You’re good. Couldn’t be me.”
The ball rattled in the foosball table one last time, bouncing off the side before dropping into Dub’s goal.
He groaned and shoved the handle forward. “Cheap win,” he muttered.
“Win’s a win,” I said, managing the first real grin all night.
Dub smirked and pointed a finger at me. “Don’t get cocky. You know I let you have that one.”
We both laughed. The sound loosened something tight in my chest. For a second, it felt like old times, before either of us knew words like divorce or alien abduction.
He clasped my shoulder. “You’ll be alright, Luc. You and Soph? You’re as solid as they come. Don’t let anything convince you otherwise.”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I’m trying.”
He didn’t push after that; he didn’t need to. That’s the thing about Dub. He knew when to talk and when to just be there.
When I finally stepped outside, night had settled deep and dark over San Sequoia. The streets were quiet, and even the distant hum of the traffic from the bridge was a little lighter. I shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking. Dub’s presence hung on me like an anchor keeping me steady, even if I still felt adrift. But Sophia’s words in my head were louder. You don’t see me. Not anymore. No matter how much I wanted Dub’s faith to carry me, I knew we needed a lot more than a laugh and a pat on the shoulder to fix it this time.
