3.33 My girl

Is it weird that I left the spa and went home to visit Tofu, not Mama? What can I say? I missed my jogging partner. I’d gotten so used to having company, it felt strange to run alone. Of course, Dad came sometimes, but for the most part, it was just me enjoying the beautiful San Sequoia autumn. Like always, Mama greeted me with the best hug. I halfway expected Dwayne to be there too. At least I always assumed she’d move him in as soon as we left the house.

“Twice in one week?” she asked. “I should have a birthday every day.”

“Actually, I came to see Tofu.”

She shoved me, and I laughed.

“I get old, and you throw me away for my dog?”

“Sorry, Mama. She’s the one I really love.”

“I see how it is,” she yelled after me. “You better be glad I love her too!”

She’d been busting on me for a while. It felt good to get her back.

“Hey, Tofu!”

She was chilling in front of the fridge, as she often did. I never understood why she loved that spot so much, especially when she had a fancy dog bed. Maybe she liked the hot air blowing off the coils. She got up as fast as her old bones could when she saw me, but as I got closer, she jumped up and down as if she were still young.

“How are you, girl? Have you been running without me? I miss you.”

I scratched behind her ears and under her chin the way she liked, making sure she felt extra loved.

“I’m gonna go talk to Mama, okay? You take care of her, alright? You know what to do if what’s-his-face starts acting up.”

She barked. We were always in sync.

Mama was waiting on the couch for me. I told her about everything that happened earlier that day, from the compliment to the new gig. Honestly, I was gushing. Things were finally happening in my life, and there was no other person I wanted to gush with since it was all because of her. She believed in me and nudged gently because she saw something I couldn’t. I owed my future success to her.

After I had squeezed every ounce of excitement from my stories, I told her I had to leave.

“Aww! But you just got here.”

“I’ll come back soon.”

“Where are you running off to? You must have a hot hot date!”

Chi Chi was certainly hot. I’d never deny that. But I’d hardly call it a date.

“Uhh…no. I’m just going to a friend’s house to watch TV.”

“Praise the Watcher!”

“Mama, please stop.”

“What? Didn’t your dad teach you about Simflix and Chill?”

She looked at me so lovingly, I almost wished I had something for her to be excited about.

“Awww, Luca! My sweet boy. You’re gonna be a man man by the end of the night!”

“Mama!! Come on! What is it with you and my woohoo life and relationships?”

“Those things are a part of life, buddy. And I want you to have a happy and fulfilling life. And you’re still my child! It’s thrilling to see you reach all these new milestones. You make me so happy. I’m proud of you! I don’t see what’s so wrong about that.”

“I guess it’s not. But…I’m trying to work through some things. Can you…tone down the excitement? I feel pressured by it.”

She gasped.

“I’m sorry, Luca. I was just joking around. I never want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable. I guess I just…”

She sighed.

“Maybe I’m just trying to relive my life through you. I told you I always wanted to be a mother. But I wanted to be a young mother and started looking for a husband immediately. But I wasn’t mature like you are. Looking back, I don’t think I really grew up until way after the divorce. You’re a much better catch than I was, and you have all these beautiful women around you… You’re so close to living my old dream. I didn’t realize I was pushing you toward it, especially if that’s not what you want. I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.”

As relieved as I was, I felt like I took something away from her. I mean, she was my mother. Of course she wanted to share in all the joys of my life. So, I threw her a little bone.

“Okay, look… I am going to start making an effort to… I’m gonna explore my options. But tonight… I’m not Simflix and Chilling or anything. We’re just watching a show together. That’s it.”

At least I hoped so. If Chi Chi’s plan was Simflix and Chill, I had no idea how I’d say no to that. At least then I’d have no one but myself to blame for further complicating my life.