I pissed off rude girl, and that was fun. I saw an old man do a headstand, and that was amazing. To top off an already awesome day, not only did the old man join me for guided meditation but also so many sims wanted to join the class, I had to turn some away! I hated doing that, but it was such a good problem to have. Sims were finally recognizing the benefit of quieting their thoughts and practicing mindfulness, and I loved to see it. But as fate always had it, my good fortune ended. I had a room full of sims who paid me to teach them how to focus and quiet their minds, yet I could not focus. I tried everything, but I just could not get there. Something in my life must not have been in order. Meditation would have been the perfect time to figure it out, but I had a room full of sims waiting for my prompts to guide them. I never liked to half ass things, but I was unable to do my job so I reused the clouds prompt again to get me through class. When it was over, I went to the sauna to relax and figure out why I couldn’t focus. At first, I thought maybe it was this business with Yasmine coming back to haunt me, but I had already squashed that. I combed over everything and still could not figure it out, so I stopped trying. Sometimes I stressed myself out trying to solve things when what I really needed to do was relax, so that was exactly what I did. I closed my eyes, leaned back, and emptied my mind. A while later, someone joined me in the sauna and then another, so I figured it was time to leave. As soon as I stood up, it hit me. I had unfinished business and left the spa immediately to make things right with Maira.
She answered the door with the blankest of expressions.
“Hey…” I said uncomfortably.
“What do you want, Luca?”
Ouch.
“Look…I’m sorry for popping up like this. I know it’s late, but can we talk?”
She nodded, let me in, but stood at the door as if she were prepared to throw me out if I said the wrong thing.
“I feel like I upset you, and that was not my intention.”
She gestured toward the couch, finally, and we sat. I was going to continue with my apology, but she interrupted me.
“When you said I was your friend… That night…the fire…I know you felt something. How could you not?”
So we were going there, huh? I tried to bury those feelings, but maybe I was ready to talk about it with her. I’d been confessing a lot of that deep, hidden stuff to myself lately. Maybe this won’t be too hard.
“I did,” I said. “But… Things have been really complicated for me…in that way.”
“Complicated how?”
I took a deep breath.
“I like you, Maira. I do. But I…”
I felt things slowly going off the rails, and I hadn’t even said anything yet, so I took a different approach, hoping things would flow better.
“You’re beautiful…”
Her eyes opened wide in surprise.
“Me?“
It was my turn to be surprised.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“What? I don’t get too many compliments like that. Most guys I dealt with were fans of my ass.”
I couldn’t help it, but I let out a tiny chuckle. Maybe it was the way she said it.
“I, uhhh…I will admit to also being a fan, heh. But I’m not just talking about your face. You’re beautiful inside, too. If someone were to hold a SimRay to my head and say I had to get married right away or I’d die, you would be one of the women at the top of my list.”
“Aww! Really?”
“Yeah… I said it was complicated because I feel that way about you…and someone else, to be honest. But I’m still afraid to make a move. My parents have been divorced my whole life, basically. I didn’t have many examples of healthy, thriving relationships growing up. I still don’t. And even now, as an adult, I keep learning things about my parents that make me even less sure about if I’m cut out for this. I don’t want to end up like them, so it’s easier to keep everyone at a distance until I figure myself out. But that’s gotten harder and harder to do the more I get to know you all. I don’t want to mess up.”
She sat there, still listening, so I went on.
“When I said you were my friend, I wasn’t trying to say that’s how I saw you and we had zero chance of anything else. I was simply stating you are my friend, and I would always be here for you.”
She nodded slowly.
“I knew your parents were divorced, but I didn’t know you were still being affected by it. I guess it all makes sense now.”
“I’m sorry if it felt like I was leading you on, or whatever. That wasn’t my intention. I’ve been thinking about things a lot lately and trying to remember my parents’ problems had nothing to do with me and I don’t have to do what they did. So I’ve decided to give dating a try. Heh, according to my Dad, you and I may have been doing that this whole time. I don’t want to be scared anymore. But I also don’t want anything serious right now. I do want to find someone I’d be willing to get serious with, so…yeah. I’m dating.”
“That’s very good to know,” she said. “I kinda feel the same way. I wasn’t upset because I thought we were going somewhere because I’m not looking for anything too serious right now, either. I was upset because I thought you friend zoned me, and it just made me think about all the other guys I’d dealt with. I thought you were different…someone I’d like to be with when I am ready. But in that moment, I thought you were just like everyone else, taking what they want and throwing me away when it was convenient for them. That upset me because I just want to meet a good guy for once. So…yeah…I’m sorry I thought you were a llama snot.”
I hadn’t heard llama snot since we were kids. It made me smile.
“I’m sorry you’ve met so many douche bags.”
She shrugged.
“You win some, you lose some. Speaking of losing… If you like this other girl, I think you should go for it and forget about me.”
My stomach rolled.
“What? No. I could never forget about you. You’re one of my best friends!”
“I don’t mean cut me out of your life. I just mean, if you’re waffling between her and me, choose her.”
A tiny part of me was relieved she had taken herself out of the proverbial race because, if it came down to Maira and Sophia, I honestly didn’t know how I’d choose. But I still didn’t want to lose her. True, we were just friends and could remain friends. But the part of me that wanted more than that was sad.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because, Luca! I know you say you’re scared, and you think you’re not ready, but you are! And you want it! I can see it in your eyes and in the way you behave. Just be with her. You’ll be fine. I’m nowhere near ready for what you want, and I’m sorry if I lead you to believe I am. My family… I love them, but they are driving me nuts right now. My parents just had another baby, and my sister is pregnant again. And top it all off, my brother just got married.”
“Who married him?” I asked in disgust.
She laughed because she knew I couldn’t stand that guy.
“Malia.”
My eyes widened that time.
“Malia Gallardo?“
The girl I used to like who liked my sister instead of me?
“Yep! They’re ummm…they’re interesting together… But anyway, with all these babies and marriages going on, everyone’s looking at me like ‘well???‘ and tapping on their fictitious watches. I just don’t want any of that. At least not now. Maybe never! I don’t know right now. But what I do know is I’m going at this much slower than you are, and I don’t want to hold you back. So…go get your girl. And before you ask, yes we’re still friends, yes, I want to see you from time to time, and yes, when you’re ready, I’d like to meet her.”
I didn’t know what to say or even what to feel. What did she see in me that told her I was ready for a serious relationship? I wanted to see it too. I should have felt liberated, but I was still a little scared. Of what? I didn’t know. Fear of the unknown, probably. I suppose that was healthy. Still, I wasn’t prompted to go home and call Sophia.
