I made it home, some kind of way, and trudged into the house, downtrodden and empty. My brain couldn’t decide which was worse: losing my best girl or knowing how disappointed with me Mommy is right now. Was it more devastating to see Shiloh laying lifeless at my feet or Mommy’s flaming red ghost floating away from me? Hearing her echoed voice yelling at me for the first time or the eerie sound of the reaper’s scythe?
In my muddled grief, my brain still worked, though faintly. My family needed to know what happened. I thought of calling Ali, waking him at 3 a.m. He would understand and probably rush over to make sure I’m ok, but that would be selfish. I don’t need a therapist to recognize that. Besides, it’s Sunday and the kids are home. It will make my heart glad to see them again.
The little house where my family now resides is cute but much bigger than Ali’s former bachelor pad. I hope he can manage the bills ok. He’s been promoted a few times since getting that job, but still doesn’t make much. Child support is probably included in the divorce settlement, but that won’t kick in until I sign the papers. Maybe on my next visit we’ll discuss that arrangement. I want my kids to have everything they need, and I don’t want Ali to stress about providing for them. Come to think of it, maybe I should finally get a job. I’m ok with my savings for now, but with nothing coming in and more going out, I can’t sustain my life much longer.
Ali greeted me with a warm hug. “I’m so sorry, Em.”
I tucked my head into his neck, inhaling the scent of his body wash, missing being enveloped by him. Thank Watcher, he still loves me because I really needed that.
He invited me to sit with him, and we listened to the kids giggling and yelling outside. Apparently, Alessia thinks she can cross the monkey bars faster than Luca, and he’s not standing for it. But every time she giggles, he yells, so maybe she’s right.
I can sit in silence for as long as I need, and Ali will let me. But this isn’t a social visit, and I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. I offered the abridged version of Shiloh’s departure, mentioning seeing Mommy but leaving out the part about her being pissed at me. He thinks it’s a good idea for me to leave Shiloh’s urn in the cemetery. That way, no matter who the kids are with, they can always visit.
“I guess we have to tell the kids now,” I said.
Ali’s countenance fell even more. “Yeah. I guess we do. They’ll be ok, right?”
A tiny smile broke through my frown. “I think so. In a couple of days. They have youth on their side.”
“That’s true. Do you want me to… Umm…I mean, only if you want…”
He’s so cute when he’s concerned for me but doesn’t want to step on my toes.
“I would love your support. Thank you, Ali.”
He smiled sheepishly. “Ok. You go say hello, and I’ll be out there in a few minutes.”
I love this sim. He has every right to hate me but cares for me still. I don’t deserve him, but if there’s even a sliver of hope we can reconcile, I will do whatever it takes. I only wish the fervor I now have to fight existed before. The papers haven’t arrived yet. Maybe there’s still time.
