The rest of the day moved quietly. I baked Desi’s cake and tried not to think too hard about the fact that my daughter was about to become a whole young adult. Whenever the nervous energy started building too high in my chest, I threw myself into something physical. I jogged and did handstands in the yard like I was training for the Motive Trials instead of emotionally spiraling. None of it helped much. By the time evening rolled around, I felt exactly like I used to on the first day of school—restless, sentimental, weirdly nauseous for no real reason. Then Desiree came downstairs. She looked stunning. Not “my little girl playing dress-up” stunning either. Real stunning. The kind that made time feel very aggressive all of a sudden. Watcher, help me. Just like Sophia at prom, I ushered her outside immediately for pictures.
As much as I loved celebrating with the whole family, the night came with one major problem: Logan. Less had always been my default babysitter. Somewhere along the line, I got so comfortable tossing Logan at her whenever Sophia and I needed a night out that I never stopped to consider what would happen when she wasn’t available. Turns out what happens is panic. We were fully dressed and ready to go when we realized. Chi Chi was technically the most qualified person we knew, but things between us had been weird ever since Winterfest. Dub was still trying very hard to be supportive about the alien situation while also visibly fearing my son a little. I knew he’d babysit if I asked, but leaving Logan with someone who looked nervous every time the kid blinked felt … not ideal. Maira would’ve happily stolen one of my children if given the opportunity, but she’d never even met Logan before. That left us with daycare: a place I knew absolutely nothing about and had honestly forgotten even existed. Anxiety crashed over me like a Sulani wave. Not only was this our first experience with daycare, but it was Logan’s first experience being around children his own age without the safety of his family nearby. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so well. Entering new territory with both children at the same time was too much for me. Thankfully, Sophia took the lead and handled the daycare situation with grace.
The second we got to the club, my first instinct was to look for Josh. Not because I didn’t want him there. I did. Technically. It was his birthday too, so there was a good chance he wouldn’t come right away. But if he did, I could kiss my father-daughter dance plans goodbye. So when I scanned the crowd and didn’t immediately spot him, I felt relief wash over me so fast I almost got embarrassed. The club wasn’t even open yet when we got there. Everybody was still hanging around outside waiting for the rest of the group to arrive, which honestly worked out better for me because I needed a second to process what I was seeing. These kids had the audacity to grow up. Seeing Yasmine’s girls standing there in heels and makeup felt deeply fake. I knew they were older than Desi. Obviously. But my brain still expected them to come running up covered in glitter glue, asking for snacks. Instead, one of them—Savannah, I think—was standing there looking exactly like Yasmine back when she used to stress me out for fun.
My nephews had also decided they were men now. Beards. Deep voices. Serious expressions like they paid taxes and had opinions about lawn care. Or whatever the ranch equivalent would be. Breanna had changed her hair color again.
Everybody looked incredible, but my brain kept glitching between who they were now and who they used to be. One second I was looking at beautiful young adults in club clothes. The next, I was seeing horse girls, loud kids, sticky faces, school projects, and missing teeth. Where did all that time go?
