Early the next morning, my phone rang. I almost ignored it. Nobody I wanted to talk to had any business calling that early, but something made me reach for it anyway. The caller announced himself as Justin’s building manager. Then he told me he had passed away sometime during the night. For a few seconds, I couldn’t understand why he’d call me. I appreciated him letting me know, of course, but why me? I supposed he sensed my hesitation and finally announced that I was listed as Justin’s emergency contact. I didn’t remember anything he said after that. Probably all that fake “I’m sorry” stuff. Sophia stirred beside me and took one look at my face. I didn’t have to explain. By the time I ended the call, she was curled toward me with her hand over her mouth, staring at me as if waiting for an “I’m sorry.”
“Justin died,” I said, to be clear.
She closed her eyes.
I’d been dreading that call for a while. Justin was an entire life stage ahead of me, and I never actually knew how old he was. He’d always just been…old. Not old old. Just older, I guess. No matter how silver his hair got, he’d always been the same friendly, gregarious dude I’d met all those years ago who somehow kept showing up at every major event in my life. Still, beneath the sadness was this strange sense of calm. The same kind of calm I had when Dad died. Justin and I had no unfinished business. No apology I put off. No stupid argument I let go on too long. I’d just seen him yesterday. He sat in my living room, silently judging my son-in-law. Heh, what a memory to leave me with. Justin had lived a long, extraordinary life. He’d outlived everyone in his family and kept right on going, collecting friends and inserting himself into other people’s families like he’d always belonged there. Now, there was probably one hell of a party going on in the afterlife because he’d finally reunited with his own family. I was honestly glad for him. But the gladness didn’t make me miss him any less.
I got dressed and held it together long enough to make it outside. As soon as I knew I was out of sight of all the nosy eyes in my house, everything inside me gave up. I couldn’t even stand. I bent over in front of the money tree, ugly crying. I cried so much, I was sure I’d soaked the ground enough to water the tree.
I cried for the lost friendship. For all the years that sped by. For the wisdom that saved my marriage. I had no more elders. I was the elder now. Actually, if I hadn’t taken the youth potion, I’d be an elder by now. Disturbing.
Kooper was acting a bit anxious, pacing around me and barking like he knew something, so I took him for a walk. I needed the air anyway. Besides, it gave me something to do besides stand there and think about my own mortality.
After a few blocks, the shock had worn off enough for the practical questions to start creeping in, so I called the building manager back. How did he die? Who found him? What’ll happen to his things? Most importantly, where was his urn? His cleaner found him, and as for the urn, apparently being an emergency contact doesn’t mean much when someone is gone. I wasn’t family, so I wasn’t entitled to it. That stung more than I expected. He was family. Maybe not on paper, but he’d been part of mine for decades. It didn’t matter what Mr. Manager said. Justin was a loved family member, and I intended to celebrate his life no matter what. No one could stop us from having a memorial, and that’s exactly what we did. We didn’t need his remains for that anyway.
Justin wasn’t especially close to my other friends, but they all knew him. How could they not? The man had been in my life as long as they’d known me. Parties. Funerals. Birthdays. Weddings. Random get-togethers. Major life events. Justin was always there. And now, when it was finally his turn, everyone showed up for him. Even the spouses came. My niece and nephews even stepped away from the ranch even though they hadn’t seen Justin since they were kids. Despite how last-minute everything was, everyone rearranged their lives and filled the chapel. That did something to me. I hoped Justin was hovering nearby to see how we showed up for him.
I made my way to the front and got everyone’s attention. I hadn’t prepared a speech. Honestly, I’d barely had time to process the fact that I was standing at Justin’s memorial, let alone figure out how to summarize decades of friendship.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you all for coming on such short notice. Before we do anything else, can we have a moment of silence to reflect on Justin’s life and what he meant to us?”
The room went still. Everyone bowed their head, and I lowered mine too. The moment of reflection was a nice gesture, but I honestly just needed a minute to figure out what the heck I was going to say. But standing there, looking at all those bowed heads, realizing I was among family, I stopped trying to come up with something profound. Justin always spoke from the heart, and that’s exactly what I’d do.
“Thanks, everyone.”
I glanced at his picture on the altar next to me.
“I met Justin a long time ago. It’s actually a funny story.”
I glanced at Alessia. She already knew where this was going and rolled her eyes.
“Actually…” Another memory hit me. “This was the same night I reconnected with you, Maira. Do you remember?”
She smiled and nodded.
“The three of us were at the karaoke bar in San Myshuno. At the end of the night, I found Less talking to some guy, so I decided to interrupt them like she always did me.”
Everyone laughed.
“That guy was Justin.” I shook my head, smiling. “Y’all know how gregarious he was. I walked over there intending to mess with my sister, and somehow I ended up talking to him like we’d known each other forever. Sorry for stepping on your toes, Less.”
More laughs rolled through the room.
She smiled, still rolling her eyes. Looking at her brought back a thought I’d had more than once over the years. Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t interrupted them. Would they have gone out? Would it have lasted? Would I still be an uncle today? Would my niblings have had a better dad? There was an entire possible version of our lives sitting in that bar that night, and neither of us knew it at the time. But that wasn’t our life. Our life was here, celebrating the life of our friend.
I turned toward his picture again.
“Justin was a great friend. Even better than most of you know. When my family went through one of the hardest times of our lives, he stepped up for us in a way he absolutely did not have to. He showed up when we needed somebody, and I’ll never forget that.”
My throat tightened, and for the first time since I’d stepped behind the podium, I had to stop.
“I really don’t know where we’d be if he hadn’t.” I swallowed hard so I could end it. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy.”
“I buddy,” Logan yelled from the back.
Everyone laughed, including me. I didn’t realize how badly I’d needed to until it came out.
“Yes,” I said, looking for him. “You’re my buddy too.”
And with that, I stepped down to thank everyone. Maira got to me first.
“This was nice,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“Gosh, I haven’t thought about those times in a while! I was so awful to you sometimes. I don’t know why you kept inviting me out.”
She laughed, and I knew exactly which version of Maira she was remembering. Oddly enough, that night began with Justin too.
I laughed too. “Man, I was too scared to ask you any more questions.”
“My bad, man. Your little boy is so cute! How’s that going?”
“Oh, he’s great. His birthday is in a few days. Can you believe that?”
“Already?? Sheesh!”
Yeah. Already. I don’t know if it was the setting or just the kind of day I was having, but hearing myself say it out loud hit differently. One friend was gone. My daughter was moving out. My son was about to age up. Life wasn’t exactly being subtle with me lately.
I spotted Dub hanging out toward the back of the chapel and made my way over.
“Hey, man. I appreciate you coming out.”
“Of course, bro. Anything you need.”
I opened my mouth to say something else to him, but stopped. A familiar, unexpected, but welcome voice interrupted me…
