The sunlight disappeared quickly, and one by one, everyone began to leave. When the cemetery lights flickered on, I stepped toward my family so we could get going as well. Then the inevitable happened.
Chi Chi sashayed over to me.
I’d been so wrapped up in honoring Justin and holding myself together that I hadn’t considered I’d have to talk to her. At first, I didn’t think anything of it.
“Heeey, handsome,” she said. “Long time, no see! Nice speech tonight!”
“Hey, Chi Chi. Thank you. How’ve you been?”
Perfectly innocent question. Big mistake.
“Oh, you know, same old same old except not really because I’ve got a house full of little boys most days, so I’m probably a little insane now—not actually insane, obviously, although some days I wonder, ha ha ha! But everybody’s good. My daughter is still married, so phew! And me and Nixon are so very much in love sometimes I can’t stand it…”
I’d forgotten how much air Chi Chi could fit into one breath. I nodded along, waiting for an opening that never came.
“…Anyway! Enough about me. So like, is it just me, or have we really not spoken since Winterfest? Because I was thinking about it when I saw you earlier and I was like, when was the last time I saw Luca? And I’m pretty sure it was Winterfest, but that seems crazy because that was forever ago, so—”
“It’s not just you.”
“Oh.” Her whole demeanor changed. “So…are you mad at me or something? Did I mess up somehow?”
I knew we’d eventually have this conversation. I just hadn’t expected to have it in a cemetery after burying the man who’d helped me understand why I needed to have it.
“No,” I said. “But I did.”
She cocked her head and waited. For once, Chi Chi didn’t have anything to say. I felt like I deserved an award or something.
“Ummm…”
I tried out different responses in my head, trying to make sure she knew I wasn’t accusing her of anything. But in the end, I realized this was Chi Chi. We were always straight with each other. That’s one big reason I always cherished our friendship. I didn’t have to dress this up for her. All she wanted was the truth.
“I misinterpreted an exchange between you and Sophia. It wasn’t what you said. It was how she responded to you, and I…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I stupidly thought maybe she had feelings for you.”
Her eyes almost popped out of her head. “ME?!”
I swatted my hand at her. “I know.”
“Luca!”
“I know! It sounds crazy.”
“Because it is!”
“Thank you, Chi Chi.”
“I’m sorry, but—me?“
“Can I finish?”
“Yes. Sorry. Go ahead.”
She pressed her lips together, probably trying to prevent anymore words from flying out.
“I knew it didn’t make sense even then,” I said. “But the situation struck some old trauma I thought I’d dealt with. I got scared and handled the whole thing very wrong.”
Her face softened.
“Justin…” I glanced back toward the chapel. “When I said we went through a dark time, that’s what I was referring to. Things between Sophia and me got pretty bad, and he helped us.”
“Awww, Luca…”
“Justin helped us see it wasn’t you, that conversation, or even Sophia’s response. We both had stuff we hadn’t dealt with that’d been piling up for years. Turns out I’d been messing up for a long time and didn’t even realize it.”
“Oh my Watcher. I had no idea. I’m so sorry I caused all that drama!”
“No.” I shook my head. “Please don’t do that. You didn’t cause anything.”
“But if I hadn’t—”
“If you hadn’t say what you said, it would’ve been something else eventually. Trust me.”
She went quiet again. Twice in one conversation? I should buy another lottery ticket.
“We took some time and worked on our issues,” I continued. “And even though none of it was your fault, we just felt like we needed some distance for a while.”
“I see.” She nodded slowly. “Well, I’m still sorry.”
“Don’t be. Seriously. It sucked at the time, but we had a lot of hard conversations then. We needed to go through that. And we’re better than good now.”
“Good!” Her usual energy came rushing back so fast it could have blown me backward. “Because I really like Sophia, and I would feel terrible if I thought I’d somehow ruined your marriage without even knowing I was ruining it. I swear I don’t go around trying to ruin people’s marriages! I’m really glad you’re okay.”
I laughed. “We’re okay.”
“Good. And now that I know we’re okay, we need to get together because clearly I have missed several seasons of your life.” She nodded toward the family. “Who is this little hottie following Desi around like a lost puppy??”
“Ohhhh riiight. You don’t know that one. I’ll bring wine.”
Her face lit up. “Ooooh! How much wine are we talking?”
“Ha! Just a bottle. It’s not a bad story, and I don’t drink much anymore.”
She eyed me suspiciously. “If you say so. I need the entire story! No skipping parts because you always skip things you think aren’t important and then five minutes later I find out they were extremely important and—”
“Goodnight, Chi Chi.”
I’d missed her. Not enough to keep up with everything she was saying, but I definitely missed her.
“Oh!” She looked around. “I seem to have lost my husband. Let me find him and take him home before he decides he lives here now ha ha! But I’ll see you soon? Please?”
“I promise.”
“Okay. Good. And tell Sophia I said hi! Wait—is that weird now?”
“No.”
“Okay, good. Tell her I said hi.”
“I will.”
Later, when we got home, the house felt strangely normal. That was always the weirdest part about days like that. You could spend hours thinking about death and family and the meaning of life, and then come home to dirty dishes. Ordinary things had the rudest way of snapping us back to reality. Desi had changed and then collected the plates from earlier. I grabbed a slice of pizza and sat at the island. I felt her eyeing me, but she didn’t say anything. Good kid. I needed to stop calling her kid.
She joined me after putting the dishes away, and we sat in silence for a while. After a full day of people talking, crying, laughing, hugging, and saying goodbye, the quiet felt good.
“Will you be okay?” she asked eventually.
“Of course.”
She gave me a look.
“What?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“I can stay a few extra days if you—”
I gave her a look that time. “Don’t be silly.”
“Daddy…”
“I’m fine, Desi. Go live your life. I’ll be okay.”
She kept staring at me. I knew that stare. She got it from her mother.
“Sure?”
“Positive.”
“Dad—”
“Don’t ask me again or I’ll…” I searched for an appropriate threat and came up short. “Ground you…or something.”
Hmph. Damn adult children. Leaving their parents with no leverage.
Her mouth dropped open. “Whatever!”
I laughed, and she rolled her eyes. She smiled, though. Somehow we made it this far without her ever being angry at me. I guess I did something right.
